Friday, May 13, 2011


So my friend who has been facing court got sentenced today. He got 100 months in jail and lifetime probation.

I find this reprehensible. He would have got less time if he had actually molested someone.

The judge said he showed no remorse until now, but that simply isn't true. He got physically ill the day he read the charges. He said how much he regretted what he did, and how he wondered how the actual people in the images were doing, and yet the judge ruled that no one really wondered about the victims.

I have to wonder about the judicial system that after he says how sorry he is, says he hasn't considered the victims.

I feel the judicial system has failed. I find that the judge did not really consider his statement. I find that judge reallt did not consider all the facts, ad that he had a ruling long before he even got up to say a word.

Life stinks, and so does the judge.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So, here is the outcome of Court

Well, I finished up my case yesterday and had to laugh, which I will tell you at the end of this post.

First of all, I won the argument of whether or not to have the doctor testify. The prosecutor said I did not give notice to have an expert witness. However the judge ruled, that although I may not have filed a notice, that because the reason we did not finish last time was because the doctor could not appear, then the prosecutor had notice.

I also made the prosecutor look like a moron as he kept pushing the fact I had opiates in my urine. Although even the lab results said it was probably given to me in the ambulance. And the doctor even said that it could cause the behavior, it could not have caused the lab results, which would also cause the behavior. It was nice to note that all the witnesses, even the ones for the defense said there was something wrong with me. So at the end of the day, the judge really could not see that I was of sound mind.

So the result was, I was found guilty of careless driving, illegally crossing the median and driving without insurance. I was found not guilty of resisting arrest and obstructing an officer. I had to pay 485.00 in fines, and 12 points on my license. The part that made me laugh, is I would have plead guilty to that at the beginning and took the fines and points if they hadn't tried to keep pushing the probation. So I took two days of the court and prosecutor's time, to get exactly what they could have had without the fight, if they had just thought about it.

Oh well, there is our legal system at work.... or at least that is how I see it now.

Help me pay my fines :) paypal is

Friday, April 15, 2011

I am going to Court

I just couldn't accept a plea bargain that had me on probation for 12 months. Even un-supervised. But there have been some good things

The doctor is going to appear, and they have decided to waive the appearance fee, since I have no money. My entire case turns on whether or not I was competent to knowingly resist arrest or obstruct an officer or anything else. With the doctor appearing, I can show that.

Wish me luck

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

News on my Court

Well, I sent all my medical reports to the prosecutor and he looked them over. He hs finally agreed to drop everything except the careless driving. The only bad part is he wants me to be on unsupervised probation for a year. He says it is because he wants me to be evaluated for substance abuse and mental health. I am waiting for him to call back so I can offer that we postpone the trial one more time, and I will go get evaluated, and if it turns out, like I expect, that I have no substance abuse problems or mental health issues, that we let it go.

We'll see.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Birthdays Suck

I have not got to spend any time with anyone on their birthday this year, and no one wanted to spend time with me on mine.

On Ivan's birthday, I was unconscious. That sucked, but yeah, I wasn't able to call or text or for that matter even remember that it was his birthday.

My birthday, We had no money and no car, and Pet's paypal account had been hacked, so he had no access to his money, so he couldn't even afford gas to come over, not to mention that I had court the next day on my accident, and I had just figured out that I had missed the court date on one ticket. I ended up sitting in the bath tub feeling sorry for myself.

Pet's birthday, he went and spent with another guy, and then his family. I got to see him the next day, and had a party for him, but I just wasn't important enough to spend his actual birthday on.

And now Kit was in Virginia for his birthday, and it was bad enough that I didn't get to see him, but every time I tried to all him he was busy. Our longest conversation was 7 minutes, and we didn't talk for over 20 minutes the entire day. And he did exactly what I said he would do earlier in the day, We had a couple of planned phone calls, his would be first, then mine. I said he would tell me after my call that he was tired and was going to bed. He said no he would talk to me, well during my other call he texted me that he was going to lay down and would call me in a bit. I finally called him at 11:00 his time, and no answer, he called back, asked if I called, I said yes, we were going to chat, but you wanted to lay down. Oh I was watching a movie, now I am tired and going to bed. So I don't even know what he did for his birthday....

Birthday's at least this year, suck.

I don't understand it

If I tell someone "X", then you better believe I am going to do "X" or there had better be a good reason why I did not do "X". This especially goes for calling people. If I tell you that I am going to call you right back, you can figure that sometime in the next 20 minutes at the outside I am going to call you back. That doesn't seem to be the case with anyone else.

Case in point, I was talking to my pet (human pet, not bow wow) last night. I called up because I was having a rough time and needed someone to talk to. We talked for maybe a minute and he said he was going out to get food, and could chat in a bit. I said ok, and I am still sitting here waiting for that bit to be over. And that has been over 15 hours ago. Now, he has some metnal problems, that cause short term memory loss, and I could almost say ok to that, except he isn't the only one.

They guy who is supposed to be working on our cars, was supposed to call me at about 8:30AM Friday morning. I waited and waited and waited, and never got a call from him. So I have been trying to call him since Friday afternoon, and he has yet to answer his phone, from 8:00 to 11:00 PM, nothing, nada, zilch.

My boyfriend Kit is just the same. He tells me he is busy and will call me back in a bit, I will finally call him after 3 or 4 hours. That goes on til bedtime, when all the sudden I get a 1 minute call to say he is going to bed and he will talk to me the next day. This has happened for just about the entire month and a half that he has been in Virginia. We had one good call, but that was because I told him we would talk, and it would be a long conversation and to just plan for it.

But really, it is things like this that make me feel unimportant. I am not important in anyone's life, that they can even think of putting their life on hold to talk to me. Oh well, enough ranting for now, besides, its not like anyone ever reads this dribble anyway.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


So I haven't been updating this blog recently, because I have been going through a horrible bout of depression. It all stems from my perception that everyone I love leaves me. Sometimes they leave me because they want to, and sometimes it is forced, but still, everyone seems to leave me.

It all started with my mom dieing in 1999. I know that death is an inevitable part of life, and everyone dies, but I was really close to my mom, but it was even more than that. Before my mom died, we had a pretty close family. I talked to my mom and dad several times a week, sometimes every day. Holidays were always spent together. My mom's favorite holiday was Thanksgiving, and we always had a huge meal, and lots of family time. After mom died, our family just fell apart. I don't ever see anyone in my family anymore. The last time I saw dad was for his 75th birthday two years ago, which I planned. And still didn't get the whole family there. My nephew decided he couldn't go. I talk to dad on the phone, oh ever 2 or 3 months now. He has a new wife, and a new set of kids and grand kids, and it just doesn't seem like we are his family now. So not only did my mom leave me, but my whole family did.

The second person was our first pet, as in slave boy not bow wow. I loved him a lot. He came to the house all the time. When he was in college out of town, he would still come back, and come see us before he even went home. Then he moved here, and we saw him all the time. Well at my boyfriend's birthday party I introduced him to this other guy, and they hit it off. I didn't mind that he found someone he loved, it was more the fact, that in one fell swoop, he was no longer our pet. He didn't say goodbye, or anything, just left our lives. It hurt for a long time. I wasn't sure I could ever accept anyone again.

Then we met Kit. Kit came to live with us, because his step dad found gay porn on his computer, got extremely angry, put him through a brick wall, breaking 6 ribs, put him in the car, drove him to Denver and threw him out. We met him, and he told us his story. My heart went out to him, and the fact that he was living on the street then. We took him to the house, gave him a bed, and food. Sure enough, we both fell in love with him. HE became our second pet. He was our pet until my boyfriend had to leave for a while, when he became a part of our love triangle and was our boyfriend. I love Kit deeply. I care for him more than he will ever be able to even fathom. He went to Virginia on March 1st for a temporary job, that is still going on, and we have no clue when it will be over. I feel abandoned, I know he needed to do this, and I know the job that he is doing is one that he loves a lot, but I still feel abandoned.

And finally is my new pet. HE is a great guy, I love him too. But in the month that Kit went to Virginia, and I really needed some support and comfort, I only got to see him 3 times the whole month. He was busy or sick, and I felt abandoned again. I don't know why.

So through all this, I have become very despondent. No, I am not suicidal, and am not the suicidal type, I just feel like the whole world has abandoned me and went on their merry way, while I sit here missing everyone.

So anyway that is why I haven't updated this blog recently, I don't know when I will get back to posting all the time, maybe sometime soon. I hope you guys will check back from time to time, to see if I am here. I hope when I do return, that I actually get someone to comment on these. I love to hear other peoples ideas on what I am saying. That's all for now